I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
