I cockslap morals
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
