oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
