Porn is love you can see.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
