you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So squirting runs in the family.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
