Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
