Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
