I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
