You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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