PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
A bitchslap is in order.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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