Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
