We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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