watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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