Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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