How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
