Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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