I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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