Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
