We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
