Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
