either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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