yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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