You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
