It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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