He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
