you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
