I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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