My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
