I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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