I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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