Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
