Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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