The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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