i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
