But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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