great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
