you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
