oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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