His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
