on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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