so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
