my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
