I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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