For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
this hospital has no fireball
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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