How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I woke up under a house in Key West
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