Don't you send me to vm
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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