At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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