I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I love you. Go after that dick
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
