you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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