this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
ttyl tear gas
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
